Dust.

Our Love is like a Powder Keg - A Zuko/Katara Mix

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 06:51:49 GMT

Our Love is like a Powder Keg
A Zuko/Katara Fanmix

Cover made with art by sorceressmyr
Comments = love!
Spoilers up to "The Firebending Masters" only.
Featuring music from Mirah, The Mountain Goats, Azure Ray, Iron & Wine, and others, generally of the indie/folk persuasion.

Our Love is like a Powder Keg
A Zuko/Katara Fanmix

Cover made with art by sorceressmyr
Back made with art by Sora-ko
Thank you both!

Okay, so this mix was inspired by the lovely Mirah, patron songstress of complex and messy relationships. I just found a lot of her songs fit my attraction to the pairing of Zuko and Katara and it all built from there. The addition of "International Small Arms Traffic Blues" by The Mountains Goats, from which I got the title of the fanmix, cemented this project. These inspirations made for a mix with less dark and/or angry songs than might you might expect from these two. I liked the idea of having such a potentially explosive relationship create a mellow, acoustic sort of mix.

This was inspired by canon up to "The Western Air Temple" and "The Firebending Masters" and then goes AU after that (I assume! I'm unspoiled!). These songs are arranged in a simple little narrative arc, just one of the multitude of ways I could imagine things going down for them. It also has a focus on the physicality of their relationship cause, yeah, the chemistry, she burns.

I totally made this fanmix for myself and it ignores the usual rule of not repeating artists on a mix. I've included notes about each song but feel free to skip over the italicized sections if you get bored. Heck, you might have already started doing that. I think the lyrics are pretty self explanatory but that doesn't mean I've stopped myself from explaining them at length. I almost wrote drabbles, people! XD

Enjoy!

1. Don't Die in Me - Mirah [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

The mighty continents divided it
For a second time in all history
They found themselves just floating free
From all responsibility
Without the weight of being whole
Some fruits evolved all on their own

Now here's an apple with a tougher skin
While you've got your pretty scales and fins, you say
See all the things that I can do
So perfectly my body grew

And if you want something back
All the things that got cracked
When I felt like you lied to me
And all the million mistakes
And the kicks in the face
But I don't want you to die in me

POV: First verse is from Katara's, second verse is from Zuko's.

I chose this as an opening track because the first verse of the song reminds me of Katara's monologue during the show's opening. It applies to both the mythology of the show and her place in the world (i.e. growing up "floating free" from the typical expectations of her tribe and finding her role in the war). The second verse reminds me of Zuko, since, yeah, I'm a sucker for the imagery of him as an imperfect "apple with a tougher skin" who sees Katara as a sort of beautiful, strange (perfect) sea-creature. And then, of course, this song is all about people who keep fucking up and hurting each other but still love each other regardless. I think that just sums up these two kids perfectly.

2. Under My Skin - Rachael Yamagata [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

I hesitate to say I was bait for you
Could that be something that you all would do?
I'd be lying if I did now say I wasn't intrigued
But timing is everything here, and for the moment the "we" is reprieved
But as I watch the girl unfold before my eyes, I discover
That I like her

Would you please get out from under my skin?
For I can't begin this yet
And I don't know what my intentions are
They're speaking in a different tongue
And deep inside, I'm not as tough as I seem
But I won't let you know
Until it's right, I'm gonna stay my distance
And you should go

POV: Zuko

Okay, how much is the first verse about him tying her to that tree? Hee, the sexy voice on "that I like her" is so his whisper to me. More generally, I think it speaks to Zuko being strangely intrigued by Katara even when they were on opposing sides and the only being increasingly drawn in as he pays more attention to her (and she gets increasingly fun to fight). But he's also totally unprepared to actually deal with these feelings as he really has his own shit to sort out first. :)

3. That's Just What You Are- Aimee Mann [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

In our endeavor
We are never seeing eye to eye
No guts to surface
So forever may we wave goodbye
And you're always telling
That it's my turn to move
When I wonder what could make the needle jump the groove
I won't fall for the oldest trick in the book
So don't sit there and think
You're off of the hook
By saying there is no use changing
Cause that's just what you are

Acting steady
Always ready to defend your fears
What's the matter with the truth
Did I offend your ears
By suggesting that a change might be a thing to try
It wouldn't kill you just to try and be a nicer guy
It's not like you would lose
Some critical piece
If somehow you moved point A to point B
Maintaining there is no point changing
Cause that's just what you are
That's just what you are

POV: Katara

This is my song for Katara's bitter thoughts about Zuko after his betrayal underneath Ba Sing Se. Oh, she pissed at him and rightfully so. This is what's still rolling around in her head when he approaches them in the Western Air Temple. I can just imagine this song ending with the sarcastic remark: "You're right, Toph; let's go find him and give him a medal -- the "Not-As-Much-Of-A-Jerk-As-You-Could-Have-Been" Award. "

4. Who Am I Hates Who I've Been (Acoustic) - Reliant K [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said that.
It's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again.
'Cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

POV: Zuko

It's WesternAirTemple!Zuko, reflecting on his past. He's come to regret his past decisions and he's berating himself about them (and talking to toads, probably). Now he's just left with trying to convince the Gaang that he really has changed and making peace with them. This is proving to be an especially tough sell in Katara's case.

5. Alpha in Tauris - The Mountain Goats [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

My hand brushes against the lock of hair that hangs down past your ear to your jaw
My hand brushes against the lock of hair that hangs down past your ear to your jaw
It's real neat, the moment's sweet but it's all wrong

And we're pictures of decency when we wave goodbye outside
We're pictures of decency when we wave goodbye outside
Yeah, I'm the model of composure out there
But you oughta see me shaking later on

My brain gets flooded six hours later
My brain gets flooded over six hours later
Rivers run with pictures of you as I stare up at the blood red moon
Lying out front on the lawn, hey

POV: Zuko

Just a little of what I see could happening after "The Firebending Masters". Zuko and Katara have reached some sort of truce for Aang's sake. Meanwhile, Zuko has developed a bit of a crush and there's all these deeper undercurrents between them and dear Agni, she's pretty. He's just one confused (and hormonal) teenage boy.

6. You've Gone Away Enough - Mirah [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

If the light takes you in, will you know where you've been all this time?
At the edge of a cliff you could almost just slip down the side
When there's so much to do don't you wish you could make up your mind?
But it knows it's elusive, it grows and it burns you inside

My trouble with everything always is nothing's just right
Just to figure out nothing could keep you awake half the night
Not to know what you want is a terrible thing you should fight
You just suffer for the face of the dark while you wait for the light

POV: Katara

To me, this song represents Katara's eventual forgiveness and understanding of Zuko. She gotten out some of her aggression (mostly by mocking, hopefully some sparring); he's proved himself to the group (choose your own heroic act). Now she's admitting to herself that Zuko really did go through a lot and he's already spent such a long time being conflicted and angry at himself. And with this train of thought, she just can't hold on to that anger anymore.

7. 99.9F - Suzanne Vega [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

99.9 Fahrenheit degrees
Stable now, with rising possibilities
It could be normal but it isn't quite
Could make you want to stay awake at night

Something cool
Against the skin
Is what you
Could be needing

POV: Katara

Okay, this one is just fun. They're still sparring and arguing but also getting along better than they ever have before. There's clearly an attraction between them but they aren't going so far as admitting to it. Things are getting... well, hot. XD

8. Boom Boom Ba - Metisse [Download Individually]

(I have to credit my friend vaega for making this connection. I loved it! <3)

This song is about the mood and rhythm of the song more than the lyrics, so much so I didn't even include them. Honestly, I don't even really know them and I think it's almost more fun to not know and catch snippets as you listen. I can so imagine Zuko and Katara sparring to this song. And then making out for a while. Rinse, repeat. Awesome.

9. Make It Hot - Mirah [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

There is one addiction
I like to keep the power and the heat

Make it hot
Take me over and over and over
Make it hot
Take me over and over and over

POV: Katara

Hah, yeah, not subtle. It's all about the sex. Which is a little desperate and angsty. If you're into this couple, you know you love it. ;)

10. We Exchanged Words - Azure Ray [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

We exchanged words
Through smoke-filled mouths
And then we found our bodies
Speaking loud
And our hearts pressed against the flesh
Trading stories
Of love's
Pain
Doubt
And rivaling insecurities
When did we learn to speak without words?
And in tongues?
Maybe we should just stop here

POV: Katara

Gah, this is just so them to me. I can also really see Katara being the one backing off and having doubts, for a number of reasons (hurting Aang, hurting each other, a future together just not being plausible, the final fight is coming and it's kind of a lot of stress. Whatever you like!)

11. We're Both So Sorry - Mirah [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

I know you didn't mean it and you're sorry that I left
I'll go right on pretending I've got nothing to regret
Except all of the times we wasted giving only second best
You always seemed to lose the spark when I was only half undressed
I drove across a sea of flags to find my own command
The distance paid a lonesome price to see its motherland
Now if you would unbuckle sir, receive your reprimand
And hey I'm sorry 'bout so much baby but I know you'll understand

How can I ever apologize? I meant you no such harm
I never knew I could possess that fatal kind of charm
I just wanted to be good to you but I found I was disarmed
By a lifetime of disillusionment and the distraction of the stars
I abdicated now I'm just a prince without a land
My subjects all adore me but for this I had them banned
Now could I trade my guilt for a good flogging by your hand?
And hey I'm sorry 'bout so much baby but I know you'll understand

I can't understand why you refuse my one request
Just to press against my weaponry and then lay bare your chest
Challenges like these can be won or lost or laid to rest
Now we both agree to separate from the lonely castle steps
The kingdom is destabilized, the watchtower unmanned
The bedroom lies abandoned and the future is unplanned

POV: First verse is Katara's, second verse is Zuko's, third verse is both.

In my fanmix "story", Katara has stepped away from the relationship (with some harsh words exchanged over it) and now they're going into the final battle. "I drove across a sea of flags to find my own command/The distance paid a lonesome price to see its motherland" is all about her coming into her own skin as a powerful waterbender/leader but also letting go some of her connection to home and childhood because of it.

I think the connections to Zuko in the second verse are pretty self-evident... but I'll say something anyway. He's given up the dream he had as a child, of his position as the crown-prince being the way to find familial love and the respect he desires. His past actions have always thrown a wrench in his relationship with Katara and he regrets the way things have been left between them. I think the line, "Now could I trade my guilt for a good flogging by your hand?", applies to their relationship deliciously.

Also:
"Now we both agree to separate from the lonely castle steps
The kingdom is destabilized, the watchtower unmanned
The bedroom lies abandoned and the future is unplanned"

That so encapsulates what I imagine it would be like after Ozai falls and the war is over, with both of them regretfully thinking it's come time to go their separate ways.

12. International Small Arms Traffic Blues - The Mountain Goats [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

My love is like a powder keg
My love is like a powder keg in the corner of an empty warehouse
Somewhere just outside of town
About to burn down

Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania
Our love is like the border between Greece and Albania
Trucks loaded down with weapons
Crossing over every night
Moon yellow and bright
There is a shortage in the blood supply
But there is no shortage of blood
The way I feel about you baby can't explain it
You got the best of my love

POV: Zuko

After the dust settles, Zuko and Katara have a talk. He tells her things are never going to be easy for them and yes, they are clearly going to fight and sometimes hurt each other. But that battle with her is what he wants and whatever happens between them, he's hers completely.

13. In My Lady's House - Iron & Wine [Full Lyrics] [Download Individually]

There is light in my lady's house
And there's none but some falling rain
Less like a spoken word
She is more than her thousand names

No hands are half as gentle
Or firm as they like to be
Thank god you see me the way you do
Strange as you are to me

POV: Zuko

This song is my epilogue. They've found a balance and a peace together, something that's unprecendented in Zuko's life. He counts himself as very lucky. And yeah, I think "In My Lady's House" is perfect because in my mind Katara becomes the Fire Lady to his Fire Lord. Yes, I am a total sap. But hey, it's my fanmix, they're allowed to have a happy ending. :)

Download Zip w/ Cover Art (80 MB)

Feel free to ask for a re-up or request a smaller zip if needed. I hope you all found some music to enjoy! Thanks for checking it out at least and if you made it through my rambling, that goes double! Any and all comments will be loved and treasured and will certainly make me smile. (Well, maybe not if your comment says 'this totally sucks' but the feedback is still appreciated. XD) Thanks again for reading/listening along! <3

Supernatural Winter Icons!

Mon, 25 Dec 2006 02:11:17 GMT

For the holiday season, I made a few wintery Supernatural icons for myself. Just thought I'd share the love!

1	2	3

4	5	6

Comments and credit make my day.
Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas everyone! I wish you hot brothers under your tree! :D

YAYHALLOWEENISAWESOME!

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 05:51:40 GMT

Hey LJ friends! I never update but well, SURPRISE. And HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEN, the happiest of all days! Slightly dampened by falling on Tuesday but any day dedicated to dressing up in costume is high on my list. Anyway, this afternoon I was sitting around watching horror movies and eating Skittles and decided to make some icons for the occasion! I don't usually share them here, but here goes! :D These are pretty simple; just some quick icons from two of my favorite horror flicks Carrie and Psycho. (The 1960 incarnation. Duh.)

1	2	3

4	5	6

7	8	9

10	11	12

13	14

1	2	3

4	5	6

If you happen to like, comment, credit, etc! Especially comment! :D

P.S.- I was a pirate wench today, what was your costume?

Is it wrong that I think Norman Bates looks like Ryan Gosling in #3, and is therefore totally hot to me? Discuss. XD

Golden Globes Party!

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 05:03:01 GMT

Y'know, at first I didn't think much of the Golden Globes but was excited for any party that involved dressing "classy". However, tonight has been totally AWESOME. Milbank 12 consistently proves that any party that involves dressing up should be held here, because we go all out. We swankified our common room. The greatest start of classes I've ever had. We all picked people to root for in every category. Me and Meg tied overall! Yesss, we are awesome and twins. (Meg said I could be her date to the GG if she is nominated for best screenplay, provided she doesn't have a significant other at the time. I'm honored. Especially since Meg P. offered free medical care. How can I compete?) Also, I described tonight as being "languidly tispy" for me. It was nice. ^___^ I think I had 3 1/2 cosmos, where each one tasted better than the last. Yes, I know. But I felt so glam tonight and finally didn't think I had chipmunk cheeks! I wore my hair down and my 15 dollar Marshalls dress too. In short, I feel much calmer about classes, and I still think I'll be fine for my 10:30 class tomorrow. Goodnight, darlings! (In both senses of the word!)

What better time for an update?

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 11:11:54 GMT

Well, all my wisdom teeth are out. Take that, impacted bitches.

...Although, OW. I don't think I ever realized how heavily I always sleep on my cheeks until now. Or can't sleep, as the case may be. My cheeks haven't been this swollen since my face got real friendly with a patch of gravel while skipping down the street as a kid. However, the actual surgery was so much easier than I thought it was going to be! I LOVE THE AMNESIA EFFECT! Not remembering the surgery, excellent. EXCELLENT. I only wish I didn't remember the IV. Seriously, I know my irrational fears and IVs hover around the top of the list.

I saw Rent on Broadway! I had a blast, the city is SO FUN. I had a few issues with the current cast though. *coughcaplanantoniquecough* However, I just love the show so much. I'm so spoiled on OBC. Plus, Anthony Rapp is pretty much my lover. His moves during La Vie Boheme? I die. Seriously. And his facial expressions? ARE LOVE.

My room is so clean! I really wish I had time to move my furniture and paint my room. I have a feeling that I'm not going to be up for it this week. However, I guess it will be something to look forward to the next break. ....Kaaay, enough rambling. That was a nice distraction though. On to 6AM milkshakes.

Stacy made me do it!

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 04:55:57 GMT

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Religious	\|\|	10%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|	16%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	64%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Thumbs Up/Thumbs Down

Fri, 11 Mar 2005 04:54:45 GMT

Stolen from The Spec/Sarah:

Thumbs Down:

Last minute projects: Dude. It’s two days before Spring Break, have a little respect for the braindead.

2 Hours of Sleep: I’m against it. Even when it’s my own damn fault.

Sudden temperature drop: Way to mock us. ‘You guys want spring? I’ll show you spring!’

The Wind: I’m voting ‘no’ on proposition 227, allowing the wind to enter Oneida county. I say we build a giant wall that causes the wind to skip over us and hit the next county really bad.

The Housing Lottery: An emotional rollarcoaster! Should not be attempted anywhere near midterms.

Thumbs up:

X-Men Legends: Throwing cars. Rogue’s cheesy Southern accent. Kicking ass.

Watching Firefly with The Children: Should be done always and more often.

The Chords D, G and A: These are my very favorite chords. Wait, they’re my only chords.

Murder Mystery Parties: Being the trollop! Doing a Jersey accent! Dressing up! SO. MUCH. FUN. Here's to pansies, frenchmen and mafia princesses.

Breaktown: Keeping me happy and my hallmates annoyed throughout the winter. <3

Only One More Day to Spring Break: Priceless.

Who Cares:

Umm, attending classes on Friday?

<3 Becky
-The Homemaker of Eta Alpha Eta, Hamilton’s geekiest Frasority

"All my bags are packed..."

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 06:26:02 GMT

I think I'm finally committed to a major. Well, as much as I can be. I know, I know, everyone has already chosen a major. But with my indecisiveness, I'm so pleased about my decision. I'm going to be an Anthropology major. I'm an Anthropology major. Weiiird. It's not my lifelong dream or anything, but I do really enjoy it. And apparently I really am pretty good in it. Professor Raybeck really thinks I'm crazy. Like really touched. He speaks of my writing the optional paper with my grade on the midterm like it was so noteworthy. It felt really nice though, that he noticed my work, and thinks I'm such a good student. I swear, I'm going to be motivated because I want to keep up this image he has of me. I have to admit that a reason I'm majoring is that I did do very well in the class. Everyone likes to feel good at what they are doing. And I so rarely feel like I'm really good at anything, that this means something to me. I have to work on my academic self-confidence, I don't think I have a very accurate perspective on my work as compared to other people.

Hmm, well, that turned out a bit more contemplative than I thought it would be. In other news, Meg showed me some of the basics of playing the guitar tonight. I really liked it, more than I thought I would. I don't know if I have the ear for it but I want to try to be patient and practice and see what I can do with it. "Leaving on a Jet Plane" is lined up to be my first practice song. I like it. I have a certain fondness for that song. (I say that now...)

The Great Blackout of 2005

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 03:08:50 GMT

Well I feel that today deserves to be commemorated in LJ. Today began at 8:00, when the Megs knocked on my door to tell me that the power was on the fritz. Which was shortly followed by the power going out entirely, leaving Bundy in an semi-eerie darkness. This was shortly followed by the best idea ever. Meg ever so subtly suggested we ditch our first classes and head to IHOP for breakfast. It was so much fun to trek out to New Lot, avoiding the downed power lines and head for the relative freedom of the road to Utica. We ate the biggest, most increadible breakfast (I got the chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. And hot chocolate. In my hair.), annoyed the other customers by laughing too loudly, and generally had fun. On a weekday morning. I knooow.

And the blackout gods were truly gracious, as my 10:30 class was cancelled, giving me time to study for Japanese and kick ass at days of the month. It felt really good to kick some Japanese ass, and counteracted the discouragement of getting my test back. Plus, I only have 2 pages of worksheets for Planetary Geo tonight! *shock*

It 's been a good day. ^_^

What Finals?

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 21:45:32 GMT

Soo... this 'finals' thing is going to be tough. Can you tell by the subtle fact that I'm now updating my LJ? I think I need to have classes in order to get into a studying mood.

Well, here's the interesting things I've discovered while procrastinating today:

Crocheting? Yeah, well, it's more addicting than it sounds. There's something very satisfying in glorified knotting. Crack. The yarn must be coated in crack.

I heart Serenity and all who live in it SO much. A bunch of Firefly cast people attended the 'In Good Company' premiere, cause, y'know, it's put out by Universal. And my god, you have to look at this.Look! Look at Fillion! Or you could just look at my icon. It's incredible. He's wearing a kilt. A leather kilt. I don't even know what to think. Perhaps it was designed to confuse the media. But I love my Captain and his skirt. Although, speaking of pants, or lack thereof, it is rumored that Simon will now be sporting the tightest pants in the county. Not that I'm complaining, but our little fandom is going to be all flipped around. Dr. Tightpants. Wow.

Hmm, I think I had a few more observations, but they've been totally wiped out by these interesting pants images. I'll be in my bunk. ^_^

_ is the rock!

Mon, 15 Nov 2004 06:41:29 GMT

Last night I happened upon Connie online right before she was leaving for the Ben Kweller/ Matt Nathanson concert. I have to say, I kinda loved Matt Nathanson. Not only was his music really good and just what I was in the mood for, he was actually pretty damn funny. I particularly enjoyed: 1. that he was a self-proclaimed dork and proud of it, 2. that he thinks Amelie is the perfect woman, and 3. he looks a good deal like David Boreanaz, albeit towards the later years of Angel, and he knows it. I don't know if this is on purpose, but he even spikes up the front of his hair in a comical parody of Angel. It's like Angel's hair, but more awesome! He was funny in many, many ways. It was fun to just be able to meet him after his set, get something signed (with "Becky is the rock!!" nonetheless) and say I thought he put on a great show. Kind of cathartic. And I felt a certain sense of irony when I noticed the end of his name. *le sigh*

It was also really fun to get to go out and hang out with a bunch of people I don't know as well. I never really think that I can be a central person in a group, but I had tons of fun with Connie, Kim, and Robert and was totally comfortable just meeting their friends. Plus Connie came back to Bundy to watch Dead Poets' Society, which inspired HAH parallels, always fun. It was just a really satisfying night.

Maagic!

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 00:11:17 GMT

Well, hello old LJ. For being a such a fan at first, I certainly never manage to write in here. But right now I want to do so many things that I figured I could. I'm not making much sense, but that's okay. Me and Meg just watched "Practical Magic" and I'd forgotten what a good movie it was. It really made me happy to see it. Well, and it made me want to be a witch. Or maybe just a wiccan. When I got back to my room, all I wanted to do was dress up, light candles, break out the potions ingredients, and do... a spell. Or something, ^_^. I know its childish, but that's part of the reason it's so wonderful. I miss making acorn soup and burning feathers and drawing with chunks of charcoal. I think this might be some residual Hogwarts wish fulfillment too. I really would like it if we could live in our little castle of ELS, surrounded with dusty old books and our antique victrola, all restored and polished. And we could spend our time in Eta Alpha Eta, making the world feel like magic again. Playing. It's a silly dream. But a nice one. I'm so happy though, that I've found other Hogwarts kids that indulge me. *Sigh* If only to break into the observatory... But for now, I'll draw and take some photographs and dream. And that still make me smile. And once I have my spacy, 'let's-do-magic' energy down, then I'll get around to doing something, y'know, possible.

EDIT: I like how when I first saw the creative mood icon, I totally went "Woah, it's doing magic! The LJ people are psychic!!... oh." But still, pretty cool! And it really looks like a wand, right?

Completely insaane...

Sun, 15 Feb 2004 09:16:22 GMT

Okay, so today there was much entertainment! Particularly in the form of crackers. I have a pretty, shiny, silverly new DVD player! My old one needed to join the family collective back home, so... I lurve it. It's sleek, and plays slideshows, and is slot-loaded, and can work a VCD! Yea! I salivate. Hehe... I'm such a tech girl, it's ridiculous. Today I went to the mall with the Megs, (and actually the whole Payseur clan) and we went into Victoria Secret on a quest for a "pretty" bra for each of us. Well, I was standing in line with Meg ( well, to differentiate, I refer to her as Akai Meg in print, a reference to her hair) and suddenly it hit me "You know, you could buy an off-brand DVD player for the price of this bra!" And I totally psyched myself out of it and had to put it back. And on Valentine's Day. Hmmm, I wonder if this might have any correlation with the general lack of interest in me from the guy population! Sigh, what can I say, I'm a geek girl through and through!

Anyways, I have a little Valentine's Day present for everyone! In honor of next week's Angel, which has already provided us with an insane amount of joy, I made icons! In case you weren't blessed to see it, Angel gets turned into a PUPPET. A brooding muppety puppet. And oh, Spike looks like Christmas has come early! Hehe, it doesn't get much better than this! "You're a bloody puppet!!" Classic. Enjoy!

Abject horror!

Thu, 12 Feb 2004 17:29:19 GMT

Just thought I'd share a bit of disturbingness I discovered a bit ago, for anyone who doesn't know. As any Harry Potter fan might, I've been following the casting for the next movie a bit. Then I gazed upon this seemingly innocent picture of new Dumbledore. But scanning the staff table... next to Snape.... oh dear lord, what have they done to Lupin? Is it not bad enough that they cast they creepy guy from Dragonheart? (Instead of say, my lovely Faramir, David Wenham, whom I'm now convinced would have made an excellent Lupin, but that's just me.) Must they now make him a creepy used car salesman from the 1930s too? Oh, the MUSTACHE! He is the visual equivalent David MOO, the dub voice actor for Xelloss himself! Well, I've completely given up hope. My fangirl dreams have been crushed. Now they'll cast some old ugly guy as Remy and just put me in an early grave!

This livejournal icon has come out of my grief:

I would have used that for my current icon, but me and tinamond have this lovely little exchange going! I was so very entertained by her contribution that I played with a bit in Photoshop. Hope ya don't mind Meg! I have been forever branded as Gollum... just because I happen to eat a clementine like it's a fish. What? It's juicy sweeeeet! (Sorry, sorry, that was Dad-worthy ^_^;) Don't fear, I have not forsaken my role as Merry yet though! Okay, less ramble, more nap!

Slide...

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 05:55:00 GMT

I think I'm finally getting used to this college thing. It's not as different as I thought it would be. When I left London, I thought that Hamilton would have nothing in common. I'm not sure why. But there is still the same feeling for me, of having free time punctuated with class and homework. I'm much more grounded here though at the same time lighter. One thing I was glad to leave behind from London was the loneliness. It seems disconcerting now to think of being as disconnected from people as I was. I think I feel much more lonely thinking back on that than I did at the time. I honestly don't know how I would have made this transition without the Megs. I'm not sure how other Jan admits do it. Although the rest of the London group have each other, so that's like coming in with strong friendships. And I honestly think that getting smashed created a lot of the camaraderie that I missed out on. Just the idea of being dependent on others and seeing each other reveal weakness that comes out of it. And of course all the in-jokes. But maybe I'm totally misconstruing it. I wouldn't know.

The first few days here were hard. Last semester, I found strength in being independent. When I came here I didn't really have a place or people who I felt comfortable around. In the city I would have gone and done things by myself. But here, I felt I couldn't just go out to the dining hall alone or go watch a movie or something. That first Saturday, I felt so weak for not being able to go out and fit in somewhere. It seemed like everyone on my hall knew each other and were so comfortable. Then the very next day, Megan came and I met Meg. And I felt so much better. I probably shouldn't be so dependent, I should be making lots of new friends. But honestly, spending time with the two of them feels so great, that it's become less of a priority. I just have to try to not close off myself. We'll see, I guess. Ok, that was far too much introspection. I'm done now!

Okay, time to start...

Mon, 12 Jan 2004 08:07:03 GMT

Well, I was forcibly made to get a livejournal a bit a ago. I then proceeded to move straight into fiddling with the colors and deciding to make an icon... without ever, um, using the livejournal. So here I am. It really figures, I have always liked the show of dressing up better than actual activity. Unfortunatly for me, I can't go online on my lovely shiny laptop, which is usually when I feel like writing anything. Ah, sweet Aizoutoushi, I just love getting use out of her! Anyways, today I saw Return of the King again! It has now been solidified as my favorite movie. I love conclusive endings! I continue to mourn the lack of Faramir/Éowyn, I swear they are on screen less each time! Actually, that's probably just the fault of my mounting love for them. Of course, I most enjoyed seeing my sweet hobbits! Ahhh. Would it be so wrong to name my future son Samwise? Sam is a normal nickname... I got a drag my parents to Return of the King, which was great, I love seeing the movie with new people. I would really like to see it once more before I leave for the MON, or that great unknown of College. My day was also made bright by a trip to Barnes and Noble, though they had absolutely none of the books I needed or wanted. Still, the meandering was fun. I entertained myself by reading old Foxtrot. I love Jason. I also saw the coolest anthology of Gary Larson comics ever. They were the largest books I had ever seen... or at least remember. The Art of The Return of the King will yet be mine! Hmm, did I obsess over ROTK enough today? That movie puts me in an emotional state for the rest of the day. I fear for the results of my history final that I took directly after my first viewing. It was certainly worth it though.