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23 November 2009 @ 06:33 pm
Les Cousins Dangereux: A Dawn/Connor Fanmix  
Les Cousins Dangereux
A Dawn/Connor Fanmix

Featuring the music of Stars, The Mountain Goats, Sia, Margo & The Nuclear So and Sos, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and others.

Yay, flist, I have a project that I'm very excited to share with you! This fanmix has actually been in-the-making for about two years. Yeah. XD As it's based off someone else's fanfic, when I started I wasn't sure if it would ever be kosher to share. The majority of it came together smoothly but it wasn't until I saw the latest challenge on fanmix that I finally put the finishing touches on it. OKAY, LET'S DO THIS. :D

Warnings: Contains references to... quasi-incest? As the author of its inspiring fic put it, "Incest between people who are not exactly related for a number of reasons, but still. Be aware."
Notes: The fanmix is based off the fantastic fic of the same name "Les Cousins Dangereux" by annakovsky. If you're a fan of Buffy and Angel, I cannot recommend enough that you go check it out. It's delightfully twisted and compelling, even if you aren't a particular fan of Dawn or Connor. In short, "Les Cousins Dangereux" is an AU fic in which Connor is inserted into the Summers family as a brother to Dawn and Buffy. It picks up right after the destruction of Sunnydale and follows how the two not-so-normal teenagers spend the summer after the near apocalypse.


Each song comes with an accompanying quote from the fic and this mix follows the course of the story pretty closely. Really, I can't do the fanfic justice. You should seriously go check it out for yourself. I don't want to spoil you! That said, here it is!

"Whatever. It's not like he and Dawn are big sad losers who are "clinging" to each other out of grief or something weird and pathetic. They talk to other people. Or, well, they don't, but it's not their fault that the only other people around are annoying. It's not like it's Connor's fault that everyone sucks but Dawn."
Unemployed in Summertime
Emiliana Torrini
(Full Lyrics)

Sorry don't get mad at me
I just did the sex quiz
From your magazine
You're my best friend in the world
Just like me you don't do
Anything you're told

Unemployed in summertime
I've only just turned 21, I'll be ok
Unemployed in summertime
Don't need money 'cause we're young
I'll just stay awake till the morning
With make up all over my face


There's still more of the day to kill, so they see The Matrix Reloaded (which sucks), and get ice cream at the diner, and browse through stuff at WalMart (more books, plus Dawn gets nail polish and he gets sunscreen). So by the time they wander back to the motel, it's late enough that Buffy's back from the hospital and she yells at them for making her worry. Dawn crosses her arms across her chest and Connor slumps against the wall, and together they are a united front of sullen teenager. It's always been them against Buffy, ever since she started climbing out windows in the middle of the night and making their parents fight. That, plus she's a lot older than them, and pretty bossy.

Maybe Sprout Wings
The Mountain Goats
(Full Lyrics)

a bad dream shook me in my sleep and I woke up sweating.
ran through the dark to the shower,
already forgetting.

ghosts and clouds and nameless things.
squint your eyes and hope real hard,
maybe sprout wings.


That dream had felt so real, like a memory of something that never happened, and he's getting turned on by his sister's back, and he doesn't know what the hell is going on with him.

When he finally goes back to sleep, he dreams he cuts some guy's ear off.

Feeling Oblivion
Turin Brakes
(Full Lyrics)

Once in a while now the lie in the laughter can burn through a hole in my ears,
Like a man with glasses catching a sunbeam and burning the skin of a kid.
Hypereal fragments disturbing the stagnants of almighty fear.
Well I'll just go under the water.

If things get real promise to take me somewhere else,
By the time fear takes me over will we still be rolling & feeling oblivion.


"If he's our real dad, he's like the dad in Hansel and Gretel or something. He might as well have left us in the forest where all the evil things live."

In the dark house where they live with a literal witch, with their older sister out fighting literal monsters, it's hard to argue with. "I guess I should've brought breadcrumbs," Connor says in a lame attempt at a joke, but Dawn doesn't laugh. At anything in the whole episode of the Simpsons, actually, but nothing much seems funny to him either, so. Anyway, she doesn't cry until they go up to bed. He turns the radio up - it's Jimmy Eat World, singing about not writing yourself off yet. Connor wants to hit somebody.

For Reasons Unknown
The Killers
(Full Lyrics)

But my heart, it don’t beat, it don’t beat the way it used to.
And my eyes, they don’t see you no more.
And my lips, they don’t kiss, they don’t kiss the way they used to, and my eyes don’t recognize you at all.

For reasons unknown; for reasons unknown.


She rests her head against the wall behind her, and watches the rain out the window, her legs warm against his, and he tries to tell himself that she's not really his sister. She's the Key. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to the Key. Right? And he's not even attracted to her. It's, like, a phase or something. He'll get over it, if he can just stop dreaming.

One More Night
Stars
(Full Lyrics)

Try as he might he's unable to speak
He grabs her by the hair, he strokes her on the cheek
The bed is unmade like everything is
Dark little heaven at the top of the stairs
Take me like that, ruin it all
Then build it again by the light in the hall

One more night, the end should be a good one


They're at the top of a dark empty house, and their father won't return their calls, and all their friends are scattered and their mother is dead and it's just the two of them, refugees from a haunted town, and maybe Giles is right and they're clinging out of grief after all. Connor wonders if Hansel and Gretel did this at the witch's house, or in the woods before they got there, when they realized they were lost and couldn't find their way back. Moonlight's making window-shaped patterns of pale light on the floor next to them.

He's pretty sure this is the worst thing he's ever done, but he's not sorry.

Everything in its Right Place
Radiohead
(Full Lyrics)

There are two colours in my head
There are two colours in my head
What is that you tried to say?

Everything, everything, everything..
In its right place
In its right place
Right place


This must be what an asthma attack feels like; he can't breathe. He doesn't know how long he sits there before he can get a grip, curled up in his boxer shorts against the side of the tub. The candles have burned almost all the way down. He can't think. The tile of the floor is cold on his bare legs.

When he gets it together enough to blow out the candles, it smells like a birthday party, like he should be making a wish. He never had a birthday party. Or he had eighteen. He can remember both. He can't. This is crazy.

He has to be okay. He can do this. He feels his neck - it's okay, in one piece. He's all okay. He tries to push down the real memories and concentrate on the fake ones. He's Connor Summers. He has two sisters. He's from Sunnydale.

He's suddenly completely exhausted, fuzzy around the edges, like he wants to sleep forever. Maybe that's a spell side effect. He manages to clean up the bathroom before he turns off the lights and staggers into bed. Xander's still snoring like Angel isn't Connor's father, like he didn't spend his childhood in a hell dimension, like he and Dawn aren't both made of fake memories, like nothing important has happened at all.

Vampires in Blue Dresses
Margot & the Nuclear So and So's
(Full Lyrics)

Somebody's gonna love you.
Somebody oughta lay you out.

Your mother is a vampire
She sucked your old man's life away
Turn everything off
Just cover your neck
Cause life is full of your regrets
And I should be one

Try telling me off
Try slamming the door
and telling me I'm not worth your time
Or the breath I'm breathing

Don't throw it away
Oh, Calico queen
Cause now you're merely a machine,
And not a person


Angel comes closer, still looking at Connor like he actually cares what happens to him. Connor mentally recites the four ways to kill vampires: staking, beheading, fire, sunlight. "You having a good summer?" Angel asks. He's almost shy.

Connor's summer: his fake home town got destroyed, he committed fake incest with his fake sister, his fake father won't talk to him, and he found out his whole life has been a lie and actually he's the psycho killer son of two vampires. He can think of better ways to spend a summer. "It's okay, I guess," Connor says. Now he's trapped in the conversation by common courtesy. Apparently manners came along with the fake memories, and they're harder to get rid of. Great.

The Walk
Imogen Heap
(Full Lyrics)

Inside-out, upside-down,
Twisting beside myself.
Stop that now,
'Cause you and I were never meant to meet.
I think you'd better leave.
It's not safe in here.
I feel a weakness coming on.


When he slams open the door to the attic, Dawn jumps. She's sitting in one window seat, reading. The radio's on. When she sees him, she automatically goes into the post-incest wariness, and he can't even handle it. She stands up to leave. "Oh, sorry," she says.

He drops his backpack by the door and walks right up to her, pushes her up against the wall, his hips pressed up against hers. Her eyes are wide, and he's so angry he's shaking with it.

"What are you doing?" she whispers.

"Shut up," he says, and kisses her as hard as he can.

Butterflies
Sia
(Full Lyrics)

We've been to the top, we've been to the bottom
We've known everything and forgotten, yeah
You've kicked me around, you've wrapped me in cotton
You've carried our load, and you've shot 'em

Oh yes the butterflies are still there
Because we came from the same cocoon


"You wanna run away to Nova Scotia?"

He's sort of joking, because the idea of staying in this house another day sounds pretty much unbearable, but he doesn't really mean it. Until Dawn says, "Yeah, sort of."

He sits up again. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Dawn says, and she does look serious, her hair falling in her eyes, her hands holding up the sheet. It has little flowers on it. "Just for awhile. I just… yeah."

Song for Kelly Huckaby
Death Cab for Cutie
(Full Lyrics)

Waking up to the sound of 5 A.M. to take my turn at the wheel.
Climbed up Shasta, oh how the engine ached
as the sun tortured California,
and old alleys turned deep at the heart of me.
Murals of heroes defacing the blank concrete.

Leaving home with our bags from Iron street
as morning turned into California.


Connor's bag is already packed, and Dawn's ready to go in under an hour. It's easy when almost all your belongings fit into a backpack anyway. They leave Buffy a note, taped to the ping-pong table, which explains almost nothing. What would they say? We found out that we're both fictional, and we've been having really taboo sex, so we can't handle staying here right now, but we'll probably be back before school starts?

Dawn's wearing Connor's maroon Stanford hoodie, and it fits her about right, which is funny. He almost says something about her wearing it, but doesn't, and then they're out of the house, walking down the middle of the street in the quiet of three a.m. The night air is clear and cool, and on a whim Connor reaches out and grabs her hand. He holds it all the way to the bus station, and she doesn't pull away.

Broken
Jack Johnson
(Full Lyrics)

With everything ahead of us
We left everything behind
But nothing that we needed
At least not at this time

And now the feeling that I'm feeling
Well it's feeling like my life is finally mine
With nothing to go back to we just continue to drive
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side


They buy one-way tickets on the first bus leaving, which goes to Seattle - once they're there, they'll figure out where they're really going, and for how long. They split a pack of Skittles while they wait - Dawn likes the orange ones best.

The bus is only half full, and Connor pulls her down the aisle to the very back. They put their feet up on the seats and watch out the windows as the bus drives away, away from Angel, away from Buffy, away from fake memories and Slayers and demons and Hellmouths and Southern California. Dawn leans her head on his shoulder and falls asleep. He rests their clasped hands on his knee and watches the scenery flicker by.

Porcelain
Yeah Yeah Yeahs
(Full Lyrics)

Well, I've been dragged all over the place
I've taken hits time just don't erase
And baby I can see you've been fucked with too
But that don't mean your loving days are through
Cause people will say all kinds of things
That don't mean a damn to me
Cause all I see is what's in front of me
And that's you

Well I may be just a fool
But I know we're just as cool
And cool kids...
They belong together


Download Zip (83 MB @ Megaupload)


And because I worked on this project for so long, I also have:
Alternate Coverart (click to open full-size in a new tab)

Credit:
Of course, annakovsky, without whom there wouldn't be a mix! ♥
I also owe a huge debt of thanks to betelgeuse and her Michael/Lindsay fanmix! Good old Arrested Development fans insured I already had music I associated with quasi-incest on my hard drive when I started mixing this and this mix shares three songs in common with hers. :)

Thanks for sticking with me! And for listening, if you do!
Any and all comments are loved, this has been in my head so long that I'd be so thrilled to get a fresh perspective on it! ♥ I've actually always dug the idea of Dawn/Connor so I'm just pleased to be putting out my little tribute to them.
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Superfail!: TOGETHER: Momo doesn't believe this shitaliaspiral on November 24th, 2009 01:05 am (UTC)
dude. i loved this fic. and now there is MUSIC to go along with it!

and i think there should be more Dawn/Conner. two kids who have been magically inserted into different worlds? hell, yes.
Top: VM: Drown metopazera on November 24th, 2009 12:28 pm (UTC)
Hee, y'know, if I had to guess I probably would have picked you as someone on my flist that had read this fic! It seems up your alley. I'm so happy that I actually had someone on my flist who knew what I was talking about! ♥

I know! They were so directly parallel characters in the two shows. I just wanted them to meet at college and be completely blasé about the supernatural together. And deal with their twisted extended family through snark. :D
Superfail!: SW: Jedialiaspiral on November 29th, 2009 01:44 pm (UTC)
lol! well, i read fic in a huge array of fandoms, and adore weird things, so YES. also, it's annakovsky, and ive been reading her fic for years. :)
Morgan: Cordeliamojotastic on November 24th, 2009 01:46 am (UTC)
HOLY. SHIT! I freaked out when I saw this on my flist. You are my HERO. OMG I used to LOVE Dawn/Connor back in the day! I used to be active in the big Dawn/Connor group but I can't remember the naem of it anymore. You don't even understand! I used to WRITE FIC! I have *several* Dawn/Connor fics! Man! This totally reminded me of those Buffy/Angel days. Those were the best! I miss that fandom.

Anyway, now I not only have an awesome sounding fanmix with amazing songs from awesome artists, but I now have awesome Dawn/Connor fic! YAYAYAYAYAY!! Also the cover art is gorgeous! When I read the fic I will probably come back with more detailed comments!
Top: HK: OMG LOVE!!topazera on November 24th, 2009 12:17 pm (UTC)
EEEEE! I'm so excited that you're so excited! Unnatural Brats? Or maybe, the Yahoo mailing list? I used to hang out there back in the day! You don't understand, Dawn/Connor was one of my fandoms from back when I used to be a total lurker, so for a long time I thought "Who would even care about this mix? I don't even know anyone in that fandom!" I'm so happy that by the time I posted this, I WAS WRONG. Dude! I would totally read your fic (and keep in mind you wrote it when you were 16 or whenever!) if you still have it! HELL, I might have already read it! *jumps up and down with you* Yay, old fandoms!

My goal for this mix was always to a) get anyone I could to read that brilliant fic and b) find someone else as excited by the idea as I was. You TOTALLY stepped up to be both! Thanks for that, bb! I can't even tell you... you made my day!♥♥
lightning rod for criticism: btvs: i don't sleep on a bed of bonesannakovsky on November 24th, 2009 04:00 am (UTC)
Oh man, I'd been so looking forward to this since you mentioned it to me, and it is SO COMPLETELY AWESOME I CAN'T EVEN DEAL. The songs fit SO WELL, and they're all songs that I don't have from artists I love, so I am PRETTY PSYCHED. The quotes you chose match up with the lyrics so well! I can totally tell this is going to go on repeat.

And the ART. Both of them! Augh, Dawn making the kissy face at Connor gets me completely in the gut, and it's so perfectly done. Wow.

Thank you so much for doing it, and for kicking ass at it! I can't even believe you've been thinking about this for two years, that's so great.
Top: Pride: She never fades awaytopazera on November 24th, 2009 11:47 pm (UTC)
Aw, I think I'm blushing! You're too kind! I'm so glad you liked it. I was hoping that you (in particular) would! I had such a fun project to work on all due to your writing, so I'm only too pleased to return a little of that glee! It was a labor of love trying to convey the story in music and I'm pretty much grinning ear to ear to hear it worked for you. And even overlapped with your taste in musicians, nice! It always warms the heart to know someone not only gave the entry a look but took the time to listen. ♥

Augh, Dawn making the kissy face at Connor gets me completely in the gut, and it's so perfectly done.
THANK YOU! That's quite a compliment! It was nice to work on something more than 100x100 pixels. XD I pulled that from a bunch of manips I did yeeears ago. That one totally stood the test of time. Dawn/Connor was actually my first excuse to try manipping people together. Oh non-canon shipping, you force such creativity! :D

You're very welcome and thank you for the wonderful feedback! Really, there's nothing better than getting such a comment from the original author. I hope this makes up for the feedback I probably shied from leaving two years ago! ALRIGHT, this session of the Mutual Appreciation Society closed! ;)
ada or emrysunderhand_glory on November 24th, 2009 10:25 pm (UTC)
Oh god I love irrational OTPs

They're never ruined by canon!
Top: GG: [Blair] Long live the Queentopazera on November 24th, 2009 11:53 pm (UTC)
Me toooo. When I think back on it, I've really had the most fun in fandoms where you have a limited amount of info to go on and then you just have to say "screw canon!". That always encourages some great creativity! Things often work out so awesomely in people's heads!

Thanks for the comment! ♥
ronneygirlronneygirl on November 25th, 2009 12:42 am (UTC)
Thanks for the suggestion for new fan fiction--I've gotten too obsessed with the ones for Bleach, Junjo Romantica, Twilight, and The Mortal instruments. Downloading now. Thanks for sharing!!
Top: NC: Stalking is caring!topazera on November 25th, 2009 09:40 am (UTC)
Thanks for commenting and downloading! I hope you enjoy. I know what you mean, holding new good fanfiction is a great feeling! It's nice to break out of the comfy fandom bubbles sometime. :)
Margot Mary May Margene: btvs; dawn (left me here)ginevra_alessa on November 26th, 2009 06:27 am (UTC)

looks great!! snaggin.
Top: Amelié: Dreams are delicatetopazera on December 1st, 2009 02:02 pm (UTC)
Yay! Thanks for snagging! I hope you enjoy!

(Aw, little Dawnie! ♥)
peaches in the creases of a plastic bag: Beaton: The guillotine!phrenk on November 26th, 2009 01:35 pm (UTC)
YAIBAY! Everything is perfect! The art is beautiful, both sets! All of the music looks wonderful, several of the artists I already know I like! The lyrics really seem to fit with both your chosen excerpts and the fic as a whole! You are a winner, top, just so. <3<3 I look forward to listening to it!
Top: 嵐: Aiba Masaki's face is stuck in :D!topazera on December 1st, 2009 02:11 pm (UTC)
FACT: You are too good to me! It really helped to have a cheerleader and beta as I posted. Especially when MegaUp gave me such a trial. Thank yoooooou!

♥♥
(Deleted comment)
Top: FF: She's very well-mannered.topazera on December 1st, 2009 02:04 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much, for both the download and the comment! I'm just happy to find other people who might dig this. :D
margaretmoony: Daleks don't studymargaretmoony on December 2nd, 2009 04:51 am (UTC)
I have to admit, I love this. And I really, really love the fic you based this on. Dawn/Connor might be my new, weird thing.
Top: DW: [Ten] !?!?!topazera on December 2nd, 2009 12:44 pm (UTC)
Dawn/Connor might be my new, weird thing.
Ha, either "You're welcome!" or "I'm sorry!", depending on your perspective. :) I like having tiny, weird fandoms to play around in but I'm seriously disappointed that I can't go watch a show set in the world of this fic. Or at least find more high quality fanfic! I totally made this mix because I just couldn't let the idea go. So it's probably a gift and a curse at best. ♥

Thanks for the comment! I knew this would have a limited target audience so I'm super excited when a new comment arrives. XD
(Deleted comment)
do you want orcs? because this is how you get orcs: Connor: long as you're alive they can'tkita0610 on December 3rd, 2009 04:35 am (UTC)
I have a Connor rec site (not an archive, just links by pairing) and I am reccing the hell out of this over there.

Good Connor/Dawn fic is so freaking rare, and this story just sets the bar for the entire genre. It's most deserving of a fanmix. YAY TEAM YOU.

Also your manips are kind of adorable.

Anyway, site is here if you're interested. & Thanks for sharing this!